Zorg — Gliese‑581g
5 out of 5 stars
Humans brew astonishing coffee; breathable air confirmed. Five stars for pastries and polite small talk.
Welcome to Earth!
Blue, green, and mostly harmless. Enjoy your stay!
Meet the Locals
Earthlings come in all shapes, sizes, and fashion choices.
Explore More
Discover Earth's wonders, weather, and weirdness in our guide.
So you're thinking about visiting Earth?
Welcome, interstellar guest: greetings range from polite nods to offers of coffee; the weather changes moods faster than a starburst, and currency varies by region (bring something shiny).
Start with our guide for customs, money, and which world leaders are best admired from a distance. For questions, use the Contact page — human replies are usually prompt.
Open the GuideGuide to Earthlings
Navigate human customs, weather, money, and more with our witty guide. Essential reading for any visitor!
Read the GuideAbout Earth
Learn about Earth's geography, history, and why the planet is obsessed with cats and coffee.
About EarthContact & Team
Meet the team behind this guide or send us your questions (telepathy not required).
Contact UsVisitor Testimonials
Real reviews from across the galaxy — tongue-in-cheek.
Luma — Vega Sector
5 out of 5 stars
Earth's music selection is delightfully chaotic; danced with local species. Will recommend to my constellation.
Tika — Kepler‑22b
4 out of 5 stars
Scenery is charming and unpredictable. Minor complaint: too many cat videos, but otherwise delightful.
Blip — Andromeda Outskirts
3 out of 5 stars
Friendly locals but their weather mood swings are dramatic. Bring a jacket and an open mind.
Marn — Sirius VII
2 out of 5 stars
Food is fascinating; tried 'pizza' which was both joy and confusion. Language barriers are an amusing puzzle.
Gronk — Betelgeuse Belt
1 out of 5 stars
Too many meetings about 'synergy'. Atmosphere decent, but the small talk lasted light years. Not coming back.